To the Moon and Back

It's been awhile since I last posted. I am so busy with school this term, I've hardly had time to breathe. I've been really worried (what a surprise, I was worried about something) about my family now that I am enrolled at BSU full time. I barely have time to say hello and ask them about their days, much less do very many activities with them. During yesterday's talk time after Joey was in bed, I apologized for being so involved in my homework all the time. I asked him if he felt left out or lonely because I am "nose to my books" literally every day except Sunday. He looked up at me with a sweet expression on his face and said simply, "No." I was a bit surprised and so I probed him a little more, "Are you sure? It's okay to be upset that I'm so involved with school." Once again, he insisted he was totally happy with the situation. Suddenly, it dawned on me, he really was glad! He has been in charge of his own schooling with only guidance and minor direction from me. He pulls up his own schedule every day, writes down what his assignments are, then gets on it. When he needs my help, he simply comes to me, gets the help he needs, then is off again. He is growing up and, for him, the current situation suits him just fine. So, I swallowed my Mommy Guilt and we continued our talk time, then we said goodnight.

As I walked out of his room, I was thinking (yes, it's true, I'm always thinking too!). I know I'm supposed to be getting my education at the full-time level until I am finished (2 more years). I have prayed so hard that Heavenly Father would watch over and protect my family because I simply cannot do it all. And He has! He has picked up where I left off; He has made up the difference.

In our lives, we can do everything in our power to be perfect and righteous and wonderful, but in the end we will always fall short. Guess what? That is just life. It doesn't mean we're bad mothers, terrible people, and unrighteous saints, it simply means we're human. Do we recognize that if we reach up as high as we can Heavenly Father will reach down the rest of the way? Do we see that there are days when we can reach quite high, and other days when we can barely lift our arms at all? Thankfully, that distance doesn't matter to our Father. He will make up the difference.

One of my favorite bed-time stories that I used to read to my boys has a line that says, "I love you to the moon and back." Heavenly Father loves us that much and more.

Plow Through The Pain

A few months ago, my precious mother started experiencing terrible pain in her knee. She went to a chiropractor and obtained temporary relief, but the underlying problem just wouldn't go away. Reluctantly, she consulted a different doctor. The presence of arthritis in her knee was confirmed and surgery was required to correct the problem. Just before Thanksgiving, it was done. During the holidays, she cared for her knee appropriately (well, she overdid it a little, no one can get that chili pepper to stay put), but she wasn't healing as well as she had hoped. For those of you who don't know my mother, she is a tiny woman with bright red hair who never sits still. She hikes all over the hills and mountains of Idaho and even hiked in Moab, Utah last summer. She is the definition of "Zoom, Zoom." Feeling frustrated over her lack of mobility, she sought the counsel of her doctor once again. He was displeased with her recovery as well and referred her to a physical therapist. After 2 weeks of intense therapy, range of motion in her knee still hadn't improved enough. Frightfully, the doctor insisted on a "last ditch" attempt: she needed to come in to the hospital, go under anesthesia, and he would bend that knee to break the scar tissue and free up the joint. She was so nervous about this procedure but knew the choices before her: be maimed for the rest of her life or go through this tremendously painful experience.

Yesterday evening, she called me after she had arrived home from having the bone crunching done. She was happy. The pain was ferocious, almost worse than she could bear, but her prognosis is excellent. The doctor acknowledged the scar tissue was thick and stubborn, but he successfully broke through it and, through a few more weeks of physical therapy, full recovery is expected.

As we talked about her experience, we realized the spiritual likeness in our lives. Oh, so often we are called to travel through experiences that are fierce and flaming. We can either choose to avoid them and remain crippled for eternity, or we can grit our teeth and lift our chin (like my incredible Mama always does) and plow through the pain. As we come out on the other side, we will experience relief, joy, and increased strength.